I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
