I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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