we have pet lesbian snakes
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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