She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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