My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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