I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
its not stalking. its research.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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