I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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