WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
third nipple confirmed
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
