I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize