What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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