I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
