My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
