is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
