Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
