Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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