I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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