That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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