Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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