dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
