i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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