you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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