So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize