He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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