if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
