No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize