You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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