Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
