You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
