oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
