so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
