matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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