I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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