it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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