And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
