Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
