He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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