this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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