brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
