i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Boobs speak an international language.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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