i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
