Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
