I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
