Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize