im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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