if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
