But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
