Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
