Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize