he wants to bone in the snuggie
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
