im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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