Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
