youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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