apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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