We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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