you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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