I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize