WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
