I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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