I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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