she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
