its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You were trust falling into bushes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
