No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she smelled like a LAN party
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
